When Belief Systems Shape the Heart

Our belief system, how we think about ourselves, our relationships and the world around us, becomes the very powerful core of who we are. What we think fuels our emotions and usually dictates our behavior. Our belief system is formed by the words we hear and the experiences we have. Our belief system sets the trajectory of our lives.
Jayne Schooler

That quote hits home for me. Every one of us carries a belief system shaped by the words spoken over us and the experiences we’ve lived through. It’s what we believe deep down about ourselves, about others, and even about God. And it matters, because what we believe drives how we feel and how we act.

But here’s the question I can’t shake: What about the children in our care?

Every child’s belief system is being formed, too. And for many of our kids who have walked through trauma, the words and experiences they’ve absorbed may be telling them things like:

“I’m not safe.”

“I don’t matter.”

“People always leave.”

“I can’t trust anyone.”

When you see a child’s behavior through a curious lens instead of a judgmental one, you begin to ask new questions: What words have been spoken to them? What experiences have shaped them? How might those beliefs be showing up in what I see today?

That shift changes everything. Instead of reacting to behaviors, we start responding to the heart behind them. And it’s in that space where safety and connection are present that trust and discipleship can actually grow.

The truth is, many children who have experienced early adversity carry deep anger, grief, or unforgiveness toward their birth families. And as much as we want to fix it, we can’t. Only the Holy Spirit can heal those wounds.

What we can do is show up as steady, safe caregivers. We can listen. We can give them permission to feel without judgment. We can remind them, over and over again, that they are loved. And we can point them to Scripture, praying that in God’s perfect timing, He can begin to restore them.

One of my favorite examples of a transformed belief system is Mary Magdalene. Before she met Jesus, Scripture tells us she was tormented and plagued by seven demons, living on the margins of society. But after encountering Jesus, everything changed.

Luke tells us she traveled with Jesus, the disciples, and other women who had been healed. And Mark records that Mary was the very first person to see the risen Christ:

Now when he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons. ~ Mark 16:9

Imagine that! She went from bound and broken to beloved disciple. From the depths of despair to the dignity of being chosen as the first witness of the resurrection. Her belief system was rewritten, not by her circumstances, but by the Savior who called her by name.

That’s our invitation too. As we model Christ’s love, creating a sense of safety, extending grace, and practicing compassion, our children get to see Jesus through us. And slowly, their belief system begins to shift.

Instead of believing I’m unlovable, they begin to believe I’m deeply loved.
Instead of, People always leave, they begin to believe, God is with me, and He places people in my life who stay.
Instead of, I don’t matter, they begin to believe, I am chosen, seen, and valued.

Just like Mary Magdalene, their lives can be forever changed by the love of Christ. And we get to play a small but sacred role in pointing them to Him.